....I'm going to take the knife away.

Do you ever say something, and a few seconds later think, "Oh my...thankfully no one else heard that."?  Today I said to Tyler, "Tyler, if you don't stop doing that I'm going to take the knife away."  Wow.  Now that's a wonderful statement isn't is?  Would you like the back-story to that now?  I suppose you'll just have to read to find out....  muwahahahaaaaa  (I have to get my entertainment somehow.)

• Ty has been sick since Friday night so we've been having boat loads of fun at our house.  When the meds kicked in though, Ty was on-fire.  He had a lot of work to do.

Mom, I'm working.  No pictures. (I win--I got a picture)

• Ty got to come to work for a few minutes the other day and he after his initial "I'm so cute and shy" minutes, he befriended a young lady.  He told her he had a baby brother and a pet cat.  The young lady looked at me and said, "You have another kid?!??"  I told her no, but that Ty likes to pretend.  Ty then looked at me, scowled, looked back at her, and said, "I do too have a brother AND cat."  He looked at me again and scowled.  SAAASSSSSYYY!
• When I picked him up to bring him to work he told me that he got his homework done already.  He got a 59.  He did "great."  Hmmm...I didn't know his school gave homework....and a 59% will not be great in this home!
• As stated above, he likes to pretend to have pets.  One morning he had a pet dog he was "playing" with when suddenly, I heard him fall down.  He got up and came into the kitchen and told me that he jumped over Clifford, his dog, so that he didn't hurt him.  After a few more "jumps" over pretend Clifford, I reminded Ty he had a stuffed animal Clifford.  He then used him to jump over.  At least he had a goal of how high to jump...he didn't always make it though.  
• Ty has another stuffed animal dog, he named him "Woofy."  I had to give Woofy lots of kisses and give him "dog feed" and water.  He even made me take him for a walk.  Have you ever tried to take a stuffed animal for a walk?  Not the easiest thing in the world.
• "Mommmmm!!!  You look fine.  No more make-up."  Alright son, you need to pick...one day I need more and the next I don't need any?  
• While riding his "Rockin' Bull," Ty also cleaned Grandma Wheat up.  He used the tail as the soap and wuffa (loofah).  
• Ty-Ty is playing, I'm sitting on the couch checking my email.  He stops what he's doing and comes over to me and says, "You little stinker, you."
• Another morning I'm responding to my work emails and Ty gets his iPad (a little toy that has the alphabet, etc on it) and starts checking his email too.
• Ty was excited to see Grandma Karen the other day and I walk into the kitchen to see this: 

When I asked him what he was doing, he excitedly said, "Mom, it's 

a prize for Grandma Karen!!!!!"  (Just as a side note, the four oranges

 are placed perfectly on the blocks of the letters S-T-E-P.) 

• When Ty-Guy wakes up in the morning, he usually will yell to see where I am and then come find me or stand there and whine.  One morning he walks into the kitchen where I am, looks at me, and says, "Mom, you stink.  Go take a shower."  I had just gotten out of the shower, thank you very much!
• Ty is walking up the stairs and "falls" down.  He lays there and dramatically whines and says, "Mama, savvvveeee meeee."  I save him by picking him up and putting him on the couch.  He says, "Thanks superhero."  Then I had to go get stuck on the stairs so Super Awesome Ty-Ty could save me.  The name was self-proclaimed by his truly.
• Ty likes to play in a cabinet that has water bottles, to-go coffee cups, Tupperware, and other kid friendlier items.  Usually when he plays in there, he will get out multiple cups and fill them with water, if I don't catch him before-hand and tell him he can't.  Okay, that's a lie.  I'm sure you know him well enough now that me saying "no" is not going to prevent something from the start, it more so makes him stop what he's doing.  The truth: Our fridge has a lock on it where he can't use the ice and water dispensers.  If I see him playing in that cabinet, I lock the dispensers and tell him it must be out of water.  (Mom of the Year again!!) 
• Okay, if you haven't lost interest yet about the knife, I'm surprised.  :)  This morning Tyler was playing in that cup cabinet and pretty soon he pulled out a spoon.  I figured it had fallen out of the silverware drawer, which is right above this cabinet.  A little later, he pulled out a butter knife and a fork.  I am crazy organized enough to know there was no way that all of that had fallen out of the drawer, so I went and looked.  As it turns out, he was reaching through the cabinet, into the drawer, and pulling out the silverware.  Pretty soon, he told me he was cutting me some boli (aka Stromboli).  He was "cutting" the carpet.  Then he told me he'd cut me some corn.  And then salad with pears.  The night before, Grandma Wheat made him Stromboli, corn, and jello with pears.  Funny how that works out.  Naturally, he started "cutting" much too vigorously for my taste.  I told him to "woah back" in his cutting.  Believe it or not, he only woahed back for about 30 seconds.  He then started running into the door with it.  He told me he was "just shutting the door, Mom."  That's when I said: "Tyler, if you don't stop doing that I'm going to take the knife away."  If anyone would have heard that, I'm fairly certain Child Protective Services may or may not have been called.

Have a great rest of the week!  :)

Put Your Face Back On

I am doing my best to jump back on my bloggin' bandwagon.  We'll see how I do.  ;)  Have a wonderful week! 

• Me: Tyler, don't do that!!!  (said louder than my normal talking voice, but not yelling).  Ty: Mom!!! Don't yell at me.  That makes me very sad and mad and sad (yelled through gritted teeth).  Easy Bossy-Boots!  I'll show you yell! ;)
• Ty and I are headed to Ark City.  It's snack time so I give him a granola bar.  When he's done, he asks for a drink of water so I give him my cup (good Mom forgot his cup on the counter).  He takes a drink and puts my cup in his carseat cup-holder  I ask him for a drink and he says, "Nah," and proceeds to look at me smiling.  I didn't really need a drink so I laugh and don't push it.  Ten minutes or so later, I need a drink and ask for my cup (again).  Ty ignores me.  When I say ignore, I mean completely ignores me.  I am asking him for it, he stares blankly forward.  I ask again, same stare.  I wave in front of his stare and tell him to give me my cup, same blank stare but this time a little grin starts to spread on his face.  Seriously!?!?!?  Who taught him this stuff?  It's a known fact that I am wonderful, and not sarcastic, or ornery.  Fact.  (This is my story so I'm going to stick with these "facts.")  
• We got to go see Baby Owen this past weekend! Congrats Stephanie and Jeff!!!!!!!!!!! Yay babies!!!  As soon as I took Baby Owen from his dad, Ty took him from me.  Baby Hog.

Buddies!!!

• When asked what he did at school today, Ty has lots of different stories.  Sometimes he gives me the, "Ummm...nothing," business. Somedays the stories are probably true. Example:  "I played with my fwiends and we kicked ball, and ran, and cut, and..." yadda yadda yadda.  Other days, there is no way he has an accurate recollection of the day.  Example:  "We went on the roof today."  Hmmm...something tells me the two-year old classroom tries to avoid the roof....
• Ty sees one of my belts hanging up in my closet.  He tries to climb the shelves in my closet to get it.  I ask him what he thinks he's doing and he says, "Mom.  I weally need my lasso."  Apparently belts not only keep pants up, they allow young boys to "lasso" everything in the vicinity of him.
• This morning as I'm getting ready I hear Ty playing with his tools and then I hear, "wectangular prwism" (rectangular prism).  Proud math-mom moment.  I know they talk a lot about shapes on "Team Umizoomi" but he wasn't watching it at the time.  I'm not sure what he was saying was a rectangular prism or if he was just taking the words for a test drive.
• Ty has been practicing his money:

• And his alphabet (he does know it all the way usually...but still super cute!!):

• We went to Molly's softball games at Newman on Friday afternoon and Ty had to play.  He had to play a lot.  There was a young gentleman there taking pictures of the game and I saw him take a few candid pictures of Tyler in-between innings.  Apparently, Ty noticed it as well.  He came up to me, pointed at the young man, and said, "What's that guy doing."  I said, "He's taking pictures of you.  Did you smile and say cheese?"  He said, "No, Mom.  I just playing."  As the game went on, he took many more pictures of Tyler.  Ty began cheesing a lot!!  After the game, I tried to describe the young man to Molly and told her if she ever ran across him or the pictures to send them to me.  Sure enough, Molly sends me an email with a few of them and wrote: "This guy came up to me in the caf and showed me the first pic and said, "I have a weird question for you.. Do you know this kid?""  This one is my favorite by far.  (PS: "The guy" told us he was definitely going to get an "A" in his photography class.  I thought, "Duh, have you seen this kid?" ;))  (PPS:  I'm sure he asked Molly because she is fortunate enough to look like me.  bahahaha)

Hope the little man helped you get an "A!"

• Ty also cheered for Molly a lot.  He successfully tried to start a Molly chant similar to "Rudy. Rudy. Rudy."
• This past weekend we were outside trying to do a little yard work while Ty-Guy was taking a nap.  One of our awesome neighbors yelled across the street...long story short.  Ty-Ty has a new to us swing-set.  When he woke up, Mitch told him that we had a present for him in the backyard.  Ty got super excited and kept saying, "What is my present?" He was very happy when he saw it!  He hasn't gotten to use it much yet because of the much-needed rain, but he loves it already.
• I'm putting on my face (aka make-up) and Ty starts "helping" me.  I quickly decided it was good enough for the day.  He tells me, "You not done.  You need this." And he handed me eyeliner.  Alrightly then meanie-face.
• I washed my face and Ty told me, "Put your face back on."  Note to self: stop wording putting make-up on that way or I will feel like a donkey without make-up.  

I have more in my mind already, but I think I better whoa-back for the day.  If I write too much in one post, I will just bore the bajezus out of you all.  

Hey, Mom! What time is it?!?

Days, almost two entire months of "days," has passed since I last posted and I can't figure out why it's been so long...I have excuses out the wazoo but in all honesty, I've been busy.  Or maybe lazy is the correct word?  Either way, I'm here now!  Because it has been so long, there are two possible scenarios for this post: 1) I post entirely WAY too much because there is much to tell or 2) I forget entirely WAY too much because it has been so long...you can be the judge.

• How about I start here:  

This is my life.  Every day.  

Heaven help me as he gets older...these "un-truths" will only get better I'm sure! 

• We have been enjoying the outside weather as much as we can.  Tyler loves to be outside and telling me what to do.  Example--Me: Tyler? Where did you go???  <crickets> Tyler????  <crickets>  Then I walk into the kitchen and feel cool air and notice the garage door is open.  I look out the door and there is Tyler, working on his bike with his tools.  When I tell him he has to stay inside.  "Oh, Mom.  I am just working.  Don't worry."  
• Me:  Guess who's going to pick you up from school today, Ty?  Ty: Um...Um...Um...I dunno. Me: Grandma Wheat! Ty: No!!!!!  Grandma Wheat AND Grandma Karen.  <insert whining and fussing and trauma throwing>
• Me: After this show we are going to go to bed, ok.  Ty:  <chuckles and smiles at me>  Oh, Mom!  Don't be so silly.  (At least I'm funny right??!)
• Super Tywer:  Packers Uniform, Spiderman Flip-Flops, Cars Book, Batman Cape.

To get him to look at me and smile I had to use the
"Don't smile.  Don't you dare smile at me" trick.

• Trying to get the napless bear to sleep on Easter Sunday after a large amount of candy was lovely.  Actually, I've seen worse.  Way worse.  Anywho, our new bedtime routine is Dad takes Ty up and sings a song or two and tucks him in.  Then I go up, give him a drink of water and sing a song or two.  When I leave, I give him some form of my standard, "Don't get up or you will get a potchin."  (Grandma Wheat word for spankin'.)  A few minutes later I hear the patter of feet in his room so I start to head back upstairs and give him "the look."  He looks and me and says, "No potchin, Mom.  I JUST WANTED TO SAY HAPPY EASTER."  Well played.
• We were at the Farm for Easter.  I decided to go to mass Saturday night so I went up at got ready while the guys stayed downstairs watching basketball.  When I went back downstairs, Ty saw me and said, "Oh wow, Mom.  You look cuuutttteeee."  That's why I keep him around--he's a good boost for my self-esteem.  He then proceeded to "sweep" my dress with a paddle.  A 2-foot wooden paddle that I was sure would be used to hit me with.  I was shaking in my flats the whole time I was getting "swept."
• On Easter Sunday, Ty had to tell George (dog) the ways of the world. 

• Crazy Hair day at school.  He kept feeling his hair and asking, "I look good?"

• World.  Please meet Tyler's "Tall Tummy."  He named it himself.

• Ty has started telling us more, and more, and more stories from school.  For example, Miss Laura had to put the Green Goblin in think time.  He was mean.
• Miss Laura is pregnant and when I told Ty she had a baby in her belly.  He intently looked at me (I thought he was going to tell me I had a baby in my tummy again and after all that Easter candy, I was not going to be happy about it) said, "I don't have a baby in my tummy.  But I have a Blue Bubba.  I put him in my shirt and then he's my Baby Maisie."  He then proceeded to put Blue Bubba (a little "lovie") in his shirt and then take it out and it was a baby!  Magical!!!
• On the way to school, I hear Ty in the back seat saying, "No!!  Be Nice!!" So I asked him what was going on back there.  He sternly looks at his left shoe and points to it and says, "This shoe is being mean to the other shoe."  
• Oregon (in green unies) is playing basketball on TV.  "Hey look!  The Packers are on."  He did not believe us that it wasn't the Packers.  He is in for a surprise next year when Dad coaches the Derby Panthers (also in Green unies)!
• One morning, Ty opens the fridge door and sees some leftover cake on a plate.  His eyes light up, he looks at me, and says, "That looks dewicious."  I tell him he can have some after school.  He looks at me again, decides I'm not looking, and sticks his finger right in the middle of the cake.  (Just a little something about me:  When someone cuts a cake, etc to get a piece, it drives me CRAZY if it's not even after the cut.  I have eaten MANY pieces of cake, etc trying to "even" out the cuts.  Seriously.)
• Ty runs up to me and says, "Hey, Mom!  What time is it?!?"  Um....  He smiles and says, "It's time for lunch!  What time is it??"  I get it now and say, "It's time for lunch!  Lunch time everybody."  For all of you non-Bubble Guppies watchers, this is part of every show.  I thought it was strange he was asking for the time; I mean, I know he's gifted <says every mom about her child> but still.  ;)
• Ty has started trying to negotiate watching a show or reading a book before bed....like he will try to tell me why he NEEDS to watch/read.  Oh boy...
• I am sitting on the stairs finishing up this post and Ty comes and sits by me.  He looks at the screen and starts his version of "reading" what I've typed.  I asked if it looked okay and was all accurate.  He smiles and says, "Sure."  Am I sensing sarcasm??  Oh my little friend, in a few short years, you will be so embarrassed with all this...you just wait!  

Sick a few weeks ago...still sassy as ever!

• A few parting pictures for your viewing pleasure.  :)

Uncle A.J. showing him how to hunt cans.

Too Cool for School

I promise Ty is saying #1!

Until next time, my friends!  :)